Monday, August 13, 2012

Monday Moan

The weather is beautiful here in Southern Maine, and the boys have been texting me lots of pictures of their day out at a wildlife center and beach. Here's a pic of Raf 'birding' on the beach... though his new fear of seagulls (at least when they get too close) make me wonder if this is a good idea!

By all accounts, from Rich's texts, they're having a lovely time. Raf, though, is really finding this bed rest malarky almost as difficult as I am. He wants me to play outside or wrestle with him when he's hanging out on the bed, and he just seems sort of sadder this past few days. He has been poorly so that might be part of the problem, but over all this is very tough on everyone. Poor Rich is almost single handedly looking after a toddler when he's not in school, and cooking and making sure things are ticking over. 

This weekend was especially hard on us all. Not only was Raf poorly but the weekends are generally reserved for family time and a lot of activity. Instead I spent almost all weekend actually in bed, and yesterday I was experiencing so many symptoms that my midwife sent me to the L and D for extra monitoring. I was there until the wee hours of this morning and eventually climbed into bed at 3am. 

They rechecked my fetal fibronectin test, which was once again positive. They weren't able to check my cervical length (I have an ultrasound booked for tomorrow) but my cervix is 50% effaced, which again wasn't super reassuring. Apparently I have a very irritable uterus and a swab showed an indication of some maternal infection, which might be triggering all of this. They've given me a script with the hope that it clears things up. I have everything crossed.

I have been feeling pretty low because while of course this is all worth it, it's a massive challenge. I'm missing out on so many good times with Rafi, and our plan had been to make this month or two as special for him as possible. It is really difficult for him and it's impossible for him to understand. It's of course worth every second of rest but I have to admit that the next few weeks will be enormously challenging on many levels. We'll get through it, and hopefully we'll be meeting baby Toast... sometime in October.


  1. I bet Raf will really love it when you have maternity leave, though, don't you think? I'm sorry for all the stress and everything. Please get some good sleep. Raf will be OK. xo

  2. I worked on taost's blanky for about 3 hours yesterday and I just woke up and am going for it again. Every stitch I'm thinking of him getting bigger and stronger and staying put. I'm thinking of you like you're sat next to me and I'm sending all my love to raf and rich too