Sunday, May 3, 2009

sick sick sick

It's 1:15 am and I have all but given up on sleeping ever again. Every time I lie down - even with lots of pillows propping me up - I start to couch up a storm. I managed to doze off a few times - and sorry for the TMI - but only to awake a few minutes later hacking up a lung with lots of vomit and acid in my mouth. I am MISERABLE.

I woke up Rich at midnight and he called the on-call Dr. who truly could not have been more dismissive and mean. I was already feeling like a douche for calling. I mean, I have a darn cold, and while I have never felt quite this bad from a cold, it is in the end just a cold. Still, the Dr. might have asked me a question or two.. Instead I stammered on about coughing and being sick and she told me to just call in the morning. I clearly felt a little humiliated to be calling, but I am feeing desperate. I hung up the phone and sobbed and sobbed and now I'm sitting here, having sent Rich to bed, wanting desperately to sleep, wondering how on earth I will function this week.

I hate to moan on this blog but I feel utterly miserable and dejected, and the thought of hanging out like this until morning makes me want to weep.

I'm feeling extremely sorry for myself...

11 comments:

  1. all i can do is offer empathy... with my poppet i had whooping cough and hacked my way through 3 months of pregnancy... with blossom i got an awful cold towards the end and only managed to recover after she was born. pregnancy takes a lot of you that's for sure .... i hope you feel better soon.

    katexx

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  2. Oh, Alex, you poor thing. I'm so sorry! And what a mean doctor--that just makes things ten times worse, doesn't it? You poor dear. I know there's not anything I can do to help, but I hope you know you're in my thoughts--so you're not alone.

    If you think of anything I can do to help you this week, please let me know.

    xoxoxoxox
    Love,
    Jen

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  3. alex that sounds so miserable! I'm sorry you had such a long night.

    how are things today?

    ash

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  4. Aww, I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. If you have to call the dr. again, I would tell him specifically about the vomit and acid and not even say "cold" because I think most people think of colds as being fairly non-serious. Get better soon!!
    -Krystine

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  5. ((((ALEX))))

    I know how aweful it is to be sick and pregnant...worst possiable combo...here hopeing to a better day and know you have my sympathy.it will get better...just think of little poppet....cooing at you

    Love, Tara

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  6. oh honey, I am so sorry you are still feeling so rotten. I'm sending some love to you. I wish I were there to take care of you, I really do.

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  7. bastard doctor bitch. how are you doing now? this sounds awful hon, you poor thing,

    sending sympathy, hugs and love x

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  8. Thanks, peeps.

    Wow, what a yucky night. I didn't get much more than 90 minutes very interrupted sleep. Fortunately I had a regular OB appointment made to see Deb this morning. Thank goodness, as I would have been too embarrassed to make an appointment after last night.

    Very sleep deprived I started to cry as soon as I was there... ack. I just feel so worn out. Between the non sleeping, nausea, sickness... I feel utterly run down. I had lost weight since my last appointment - indicating that I was likely pretty dehydrated. I stayed there most of the early afternoon getting fluids from the SLOWEST IV in the world, and Deb and I discussed meds. The fatigue and nausea is not helping me recover.. and since it's been 11 days already Deb thought that it might be something bacterial and thus I have antibiotics. Also, though, I was given a pretty strong cough suppressant as no sleep for 5 days will sort of make you crazy (which is honestly what I feel). The thing is, codeine, the cough medicine I'll be taking, is a category C med. As you all likely know, I have a hard time taking ANY meds when I'm not pregnant. But I honestly feel that desperate and the way I'm taking it - which is very short and just at night - avoids most of the drug's associated problems (the drug is a narcotic and the little poppet could have withdrawal issues if the use was long term or if i was very close to delivery).

    So I'm going to take it in order to get this bronchitis under control.

    But I am so woefully behind with everything. And I feel too delirious and out of it to grade papers. I am sure that a good night's sleep will make me into a different person.

    Love, A

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  9. oh love, it makes me sad to think of you awake at night, alone. i am so glad you agreed to take the meds, i know it is so hard for you to do so, but it really sounds like it was in the best interest of both you and poppet (or perhaps you, and by extension, poppen).

    i'm hoping that you got the chance to rest today with some proper medication so that it was real restful rest, and not fake sickly rest.

    in fact, i hope you are still sleeping now and will sleep through the night.

    love you lots,
    ren

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  10. Alex:

    I'm so sorry you're sick and sleep-deprived. Hugs from me!

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  11. Thanks Ren, love. I am sitting here waiting for the codeine to kick in.. and it has certainly made me drowsy. I just hope the coughing ceases very, very soon!! Will hopefully be sleeping in about 3 minutes :) Can't wait to see you!

    Aw, thank you, David. I am hopeful that by tomorrow I will not be quite as sleep deprived. I feel strongly that getting one thing under control (sleep!) will lead to a dramatic increase in well being! Here's hoping...!!

    Sleep tight, everyone ;)
    Love, A

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