I've not been doing very well at all in following my 'plan' to avoid feeling stressed... So much for yoga, meditation, hypnobabies practice, etc. And so today is the day when I turn this around...!
Every few days, when I wake up at 1am-ish for a trip to the loo, I am startled to note that Poppet isn't moving as much.. if at all. And no matter how many times this happens with everything turning out just fine (i.e. he is kicking up a storm by 4 or 5am), as soon as my 'night mind' latches on to the thought that something might be wrong I lie there awake - WIDE AWAKE - for hours in a semi state of panic. Feeling him move a little bit doesn't necessarily take the fear away, either...
Last night was one of those nights, except that it took me even longer to get back to sleep. Perhaps the little tyke is helping me prepare for his arrival!? One thing that I have noticed, though, is that a very stressful day leads to both increased nausea and vomiting as well as a nerve-wracking sleepless night. It's a bit of a vicious cycle, too, because as I lie there worrying, I have all sorts of thoughts about the preceding day's stress harming the poppet, which elicits guilt and more worry and, yes, of course, more stress!!! I worry I overdid it in the gym, that my level of frustration during the day did something to the placenta's ability to provide nutrients and oxygen... I worry that I walked too far, lifted too heavy a weight, that my crossness with the stupid breakdown service (which never turned up to fix my flat tire) caused some sort of trauma..
Of course in the morning these anxieties somewhat dissipate, but in the middle of the night, when everything feels more compelling and ominous, these thoughts are so real and frightening that I lie there somewhat paralyzed.
Thus today is the day when I really start to be mindful of keeping down the stress. After a lovely early morning at the gym and walking with a friend, yesterday turned into an utter shambles. As inferred above, my car had a flat and we spent the entire DAY sorting it out. It was was one of those infuriating days when everything you have planned has to be canceled.. which is stressful in itself. I also don't do too well keeping my crossness in check when a big corporate breakdown service fails to provide a service you pay for. Grr.
IN the end I called Kate and Dave and Dave and his son Taylor(!) helped us out :) THANK YOU DAVE!!!
Now, though, I am behind and have to cancel all the fun plans I had for today to catch up on the chores and work that I didn't do yesterday.... But I'm going to make some time for some yoga and I'll spend at least an hour or two working through some of the hypnobabies material.
Namaste, everyone :)