Sunday, April 26, 2009

must do more yoga...

I've not been doing very well at all in following my 'plan' to avoid feeling stressed... So much for yoga, meditation, hypnobabies practice, etc. And so today is the day when I turn this around...!

Every few days, when I wake up at 1am-ish for a trip to the loo, I am startled to note that Poppet isn't moving as much.. if at all. And no matter how many times this happens with everything turning out just fine (i.e. he is kicking up a storm by 4 or 5am), as soon as my 'night mind' latches on to the thought that something might be wrong I lie there awake - WIDE AWAKE - for hours in a semi state of panic. Feeling him move a little bit doesn't necessarily take the fear away, either...

Last night was one of those nights, except that it took me even longer to get back to sleep. Perhaps the little tyke is helping me prepare for his arrival!? One thing that I have noticed, though, is that a very stressful day leads to both increased nausea and vomiting as well as a nerve-wracking sleepless night. It's a bit of a vicious cycle, too, because as I lie there worrying, I have all sorts of thoughts about the preceding day's stress harming the poppet, which elicits guilt and more worry and, yes, of course, more stress!!! I worry I overdid it in the gym, that my level of frustration during the day did something to the placenta's ability to provide nutrients and oxygen... I worry that I walked too far, lifted too heavy a weight, that my crossness with the stupid breakdown service (which never turned up to fix my flat tire) caused some sort of trauma..

Of course in the morning these anxieties somewhat dissipate, but in the middle of the night, when everything feels more compelling and ominous, these thoughts are so real and frightening that I lie there somewhat paralyzed.

Thus today is the day when I really start to be mindful of keeping down the stress. After a lovely early morning at the gym and walking with a friend, yesterday turned into an utter shambles. As inferred above, my car had a flat and we spent the entire DAY sorting it out. It was was one of those infuriating days when everything you have planned has to be canceled.. which is stressful in itself. I also don't do too well keeping my crossness in check when a big corporate breakdown service fails to provide a service you pay for. Grr.

IN the end I called Kate and Dave and Dave and his son Taylor(!) helped us out :) THANK YOU DAVE!!!

Now, though, I am behind and have to cancel all the fun plans I had for today to catch up on the chores and work that I didn't do yesterday.... But I'm going to make some time for some yoga and I'll spend at least an hour or two working through some of the hypnobabies material.

Namaste, everyone :)


  1. Namaste!

    That is the best possible thing for you--being in the present moment, letting everything else go. Hard to do, but you're up for it! ;-)

    So sorry about all of the stress and worry. You're so conscientious, I'm not surprised you worry, and then worry about worrying. And now you're worrying about worrying about worrying!

    So I really hope that you can turn over this new leaf and that it goes well for you. We are rooting for you.

    Missed you today but SO glad you'll do some things for "you."

    Sending hugs,

  2. don't forget that babies do move less in the third trimester as they start to run out of room to move around - so those strong kicks are reduced to nudges and little prods!

    i'm so sorry that you still feel so ill. i've never had that problem after the first trimester so i don't know what to suggest.... at least you can take comfort in the fact that your little guy is growing so very well!


  3. Missed you, too, Jen! My darn Internet went down so I ended up being even more behind with work. But one of my favorite things to do, at the moment, is to listen to my mystery audible books as I walk.. and so with my computer down I took the time to enjoy a nice lunchtime walk. I'm loving this Spring weather :)

    I DID do some yoga, I have to say that I am pretty amazed by the recent growth spurt because it wasn't that long ago that I last practiced (well, two weeks ago) and I was stunned by how much more difficult it was to do poses without having to do major adjustment! that bump is very inflexible... But I did feel a lot better for having practiced. I also started to look through my hypnobirthing stuff, but, alas, I fell asleep listening to the CD :)

    Having being quite smug all winter about avoiding a cold, I have come down with an unpleasant head cold. I hope it doesn't hang around. With poppet already pressing up against my lungs, the added sore throat makes things like breathing a wee bit tricky!

    INterestingly, though, poppet was moving a LOT more last night. I'm sure that stress and crossness are not emotions he enjoys.

    Thanks for reminding me of that, em. As I lay awake on Saturday night I also kept in mind Jen's comment about the baby changing his sleeping patterns.

    The sickness has been really taxing at times. But I have found some new variations that I'm really liking. Soy milk blended up with frozen mango or frozen berries is really going down well.

    Love, A

  4. Namaste!

    I was at a baby shower yesterday, wishing I were at yours . . . it was fun but I would rather be with y'all. Anyway -- one of the things we did (no games, thank heavens) was fill out little cards with "advice for the new mommy." Now having no children I had no idea what to write, so after some pondering I wrote what I try to remember for how I should be with myself every day:

    "There's no one 'right' way to do this, and remember it's okay to ask for help when you need it."

    So there's my advice for the new mommy.

    Love to you and yours


  5. Aw, Sarah, what a lovely thought... and whilst I obviously have no children (aside from this little guy!), it strikes me as a really beautiful and helpful piece of advice. Perhaps I could do a virtual shower where I ask people to leave their wisdom..

    I so wish you could come, too. Is DC really that dar away :)

    love, A

  6. sarah - you are spot on!! so very, very spot on!!! every baby is different and every mummy is different... there is no ONE right way.