Busy, family, and the 4pm blues

We've had a busy few days. Unfortunately Rich's only surviving grandparent passed away a couple of days ago so Rich had a couple of days from work. Rafi doesn't have any great grandparents at all now, which is really quite sad. Growing up, Rich spent a lot of time with his grandparents - mostly on his mum's side - and I know it means a lot to him that Raf won't know them. More sad is that Raf won't ever know his grandmother, Richard's mum, who passed away at an extremely young age 15 years ago. It's very sad indeed. I didn't really have much to do with my grandparents growing up, except my sweet, sweet grandpa who died at 89 when I was just 11, but it is important to both of us that Rafi has a connection with his remaining grandparents, as well as my sisters and Rich's brother and sister and their families. Being in the US doesn't make this in the least bit easy, and as Rafi gets older (10 weeks yesterday) I feel more struck that Raf hasn't actually met anyone in either of our families.

Thus we're off to Spain in a few weeks to see my parents and my sister, melissa, who is renting a villa with her husband and new baby, Rory, and their sweet little 2.5 year old, Freya. It will be great to see everyone and for the cousins to meet. Unfortunately we're not able to get to the UK on this visit to Europe so it'll be a while before we see my other sisters and Rich's family. I don't think anyone is coming over here to visit Raf anytime soon.

Every day around 4pm I experience the 4pm blues.. where i wistfully think about moving to the UK, being surrounded by helpful, loving family and feel sad that whilst our friends are amazing, we don't have any family on the continent. Then I remember that it probably wouldn't be that wistful; that my parents live in Spain, I rarely talk to two of my sisters (i haven't spoken to one at all since I was 10 weeks pregnant), and most of our great friends are in Maine...Indeed the people who show much of an interest in Raf are in Maine (though thank you Alice for reading this blog, as you might be the only family to do so!!)

Still, almost every late afternoon I feel as though I might just burst into tears, no matter how lovely the day has been (which they invariably are). Indeed today was great. Raf and I got up at 3am, I thought so I could feed him, but when I popped him in his swing so I could rustle up a drink he'd fallen asleep. I spent a nice hour or two, wide awake, watching the little sleepy seal, feeling like the luckiest person alive. I had a great time at the gym chatting with other women, taking a group weightlifting class that always kills me, and Rich dropped Raf off and we came home, had lunch, played, ate, napped (not me!) and I even managed a walk with Raf and the puppies all on my own.

What a lovely day.. but still the melancholy around 4pm. I'm sure, too, that some of this is provoked by all my old school friends on FB who I am in a lot of contact with again. It's that familiar, easy sort of interaction, probably the kind I crave right now (and thus mummy and me groups don't quite meet these needs).

Still... mostly everyday is lovely and serene and as I type Raf has passed out on my lap having nursed for a long while. Rich is home, Netflix have sent another series of Cheers (yes, that's right!), and yesterday we got Rafi's passport application completed and sent. It was quite the experience getting his photos taken in a way that made them acceptable for the passport application :)