Melting

In more ways than one. It's so hot here and I have to admit that I am beginning to feel like crying every time I see the thermometer climbing above 85, especially with the humidity we've been having. Today I was putting up some furniture in Raf's room and it was like a furnace, and having a little three year old helper wasn't terribly helpful. We still have bunk beds to put up... tonight, so that should be fun.

I'm still having lots of funky symptoms. My midwife suggested some iron infusions via IV but we'll see if I can get my levels up via other means. It means that I'm pretty exhausted still and having a newly turned 3 year old with some new crazy energy and a husband who is very busy.. well, I am tired and a bit fed-up.

I'm also beginning to panic a bit as we're not at all organized for this baby and added to that we can't seem to catch a break with major stressful things happening. There's a list of top 'stressors' that people can go through (as measured by social scientists on a stress-scale), and I think we've almost experienced every single one of the top 5 in a single year, and it doesn't seem over.

Poppet is an absolute blessing, of course, but I cannot pretend that I'm not full of angst as to how we'll manage 2 children on top of what else has been happening. I keep looking at the list of things we need to get for this new poppet and I'm overwhelmed just looking at it. Of course we have a lot of stuff from when Raf was a baby but also so many seemingly crucial things to get.

These are the times that I miss my dad the most. I would often call him when I was feeling low or worried and whilst there was little he could do, his telling me that it would be 'alright' was comfort indeed. I am sure my hormones are raging, and how I feel physically doesn't help at all, but I am just not a happy camper right now. Every time Raf has a meltdown I think to myself that that looks pretty good to me.